20چونکه مستم کرده اي حدم مزن... شرع، مستان را نيارد حد زدن ...چون شدم هوشيار آنگاهم بزن...که نخواهم خود شدن هوشيار من

۱۳۸٢/۱٠/٢٩

 

سلام امروز اولين روز وبلاگ نويسي من آغاز شد .تصميم دارم هر چه رو خوندم واز اون خوشم اومد توي اين وبلاگ بنويسم از تمامي دوستاني كه از اين وبلاگ بازديد مي كنند تقاضا مي كنم كه منو در هر چه پربارتر كردن اين وبلاگ كمك كنند.براي شروع منتخبي از funglish هايي روكه در روزنامه جام جم چاپ ميشد رو اينجا مي آورم.

 

Useless info

You can,t kill yourself by holding your breath

Babies are born without knee caps .they don’t appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body tosquitr blood 30feet

In the last 4000years ,no new animals have been domesticated.

If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months ,enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomis bomb

Mrs .fullfolgoes to work one day crying because

She found out her momhad gust died

Her boss asks her what’ s wrong ? “ why are you crying ?” she replies igust found out that my mon passed away

A few hours later her boss decides to check on her . so he goes to her offied andsee’s she is crying hysterically .

He asks again ,”why are you crying 

She says “ my sister called and said her mom died too.”

A blond , a singer , a movie star ,a priest and a pilot were in a plane .

The plane was going down and there were only 4parachutes .

So the pilot took one and gumped ,then the movie star took one and jumped.

Since there was only one parachute left the priest tpld the singer to take the last one .

The singer said ,”there are still 2 parachutes left... tookmy back pack and jumped .”

 

1-pick the number of times a week that you would like to have funglish.

( more than once but less than 10)

2-multiply this number by 2.

3-add5.

4- multiply it by 50.

5- if you have already had your birthday this year add 1752… if you haven’t add 1751.

6-now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

-now you should have a three digit number .

the first digit was your original number .

the next two numbers are your age !

 

an angry driver went back to a garage where he’d purchased a battery for his car six months earlier.

“listen!” the driver shouted at the owner of the garage, “when I bought that battery you said it be the last battery my car would need .

it died after six months!”

“sorry “,apologized the garage owner .

“I didn’t think your car would last longer than

that !”

 

a ) the japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the british or americans.

b) on the other hand , the french eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacke than the british or americans .

conclusion : eat what you like .

it’s speaking english that kills you !

 

there were 3 astronauts who worked for nasa.

There was a chinese guy, a japanese guy ,and a blonde. The chinese guy said , “us chinese will be the first people to land on the planet mars!

The japanese guy said “big deal ! us japanese will be the first people to land on the planet pluto !”

The blonde said “oh yeah , us blondes will be the first people to land on the sun !”

The japanese guy and the chinese guy looked at each other and started

We are going to wait laughing, “you’re crazy! You are going to burn up !”

Until night time !”but the blonde said “ what , you think we’re stupid”

 

There were 12people climbing mt . everest.11were blondes ,1was not

At one point, they had to use a rope

H alf way up the rope , it started tearing

T hey decided one person needed to jump off and sacrifice herself for the rest of them T he one that was not blonde , gave a long speech of how she was going to sacrifice herself for the othersE very one started crying . once she was through , all the blondes clapped loudly

 

Intermediate

Q:why did Mr.Fullfool stare at the can of orange juice for tow hours

A:Because he can said "concentrate " on it

Q:how do you make Mr.Fullfool lanugh on Saturday

A:Tell him a joke on Wednesday



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